Transcript of “Elysian Trumpet for sale”

Earlier today on the New Orleans Craiglist, there was an ad posted that appeared to have been written by Irvin Mayfield. It was purporting to sell one of the city’s largest symbols of municipal neglect, the Elysian Trumpet. It may well have been a fake ad, but for those of us living in this marvelous-though-mishandled city, it gave us hope. Hope that a man could change. That someone could redress their own wrongs and swallow their pride like a thousand-dollar breakfast.

Of course I printed out a copy as soon as I saw it because I knew a humorless dick was going to report it.

Here’s a transcript of the ad. I do not know who those named at the end are, and I didn’t post the original ad. #MakeNOJOPay

Elysian Trumpet

$1,030,000 OBO
24k gold finish, gems, semiprecious stones, Fleur De Lis-all that stuff. This trumpet is NICE.
The Elysian Trumpet is one of the most guarded and elaborate musical instruments ever made. I’m only selling it because I need cash for a really good attorney and I’d like to go out for breakfast tomorrow.

It is insured by Lloyd’s of London for $1 million, and the policy is paid up through September. Horn comes with an armed guard. He’s been waiting on a paycheck from me for a couple months. Hopefully he won’t be so demanding with you.

I kinda share the trumped with some other folks who also think it is completely reasonable to spend buckets of money on one instrument when our city needs so much. I’m in pretty tight with most of these people, and they’ll do whatever I say, so it’s cool with them if I unload the trumpet.

Those people are:
Elizabeth A. Boh
E. Renae Conley
Richard Michael Conley
David Allard duPlantier, Spiritual Warden
Jeffery Brian Goldring
William H. Hines
Stewart Juneau
Big Daddy K
Ronald Markham Jr.
Ken Mask
Lance Ostendorf
Daniel Fredric Packer Jr.

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