Rhode Island Limericks

Here’s a handful of the limerick series I penned to help drag the form out from Nantucket’s shadow. Sure Rhode Island’s poetic representatives aren’t as physically impressive as their northern neighbor, but they probably have great personalities!

There once was a man from Warren
Whose sexual acts were quite borin’.
He hooked up with a chick
who was narcoleptic,
so he didn’t wake her while performin’.

There was once a young fellow from Coventry
who could not help from falling in love with me.
Didn’t want to be rude
since I’m not in to dudes,
so we only made out one time… okay, three.

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Providence Fringe Festival!

Lack of updates on my end? That can only mean one thing. . .
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. . . A SHOW WAS IN THE WORKS.

Any of you who’ll be in the New England area can catch my show Bawdy Dates in the Ocean State at the Aurora, 276 Westminster Street in Providence, RI from Tuesday July 21st through Saturday, July 25th! That’s one hour of my best comedic Esoterotica material for all you Northerners who’ve been missing out these last couple years, and an indeterminate amount of awkward stage patter between them.

Come on out and see me, Rhode Island! Though I may be a comic, I sure won’t stand you up.

Rhode Island is top tier!

A recent study published on PLOS ONE has determined the most racist areas of the United States based on the frequency with which locals have searched for the N-bomb on Google. Just look at Little Rhody burning bright in the upper-right corner of Figure 1!

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Ten bucks says the researchers accidentally included the contents of H.P. Lovecraft’s collected letters in there with the search statistics.