Need a Doctor’s Note

I need somebody to forge a doctor’s note for my day job that excuses the following qualities I display:

– I habitually look diagonally up/left when I’m thinking about an answer to a question and it looks like I’m rolling my eyes but I’m not.

– When not interacting with people I have Resting Upperclass Face.

– When interacting with people I have a pretty expressive face so I tend to look weirded out when people act genuinely weird and then they think that I’m the one making things uncomfortable. Weirdos.

– Similarly, I tend to recoil from close-talkers I’m not already friends with because my lizard brain thinks they’re either attacking me or going in for a kiss and I seriously don’t want at least one of those from them.

Twenty bucks upon delivery of the note, another twenty if my manager buys it.